Silencing the Inner Critic: Understanding and Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

by Alexandra Held | Registered Psychologist and Behaviour Analyst

We all have an internal dialogue – a stream of thoughts that runs through our minds throughout the day. Sometime

s, this voice is compassionate and encouraging. But at other times, it can turn harsh, critical, and even cruel. This is known as negative self-talk, and it can have a powerful impact on our mental health and well-being.

I regularly work with clients across Australia and New Zealand who are silently struggling with the effects of negative self-talk. In this blog, I aim to demystify this common psychological pattern and share practical ways to start shifting toward a more supportive inner voice.

Trapped in a cloud of Negative Self-Talk

What is Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk is the habit of engaging in internal dialogue that is pessimistic, self-critical, or demeaning. Common examples include thoughts like:

• "I’m not good enough."

• "I always mess things up."

• "No one cares what I have to say."

• "Why bother trying?"

While everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time, persistent negative self-talk can contribute to symptoms of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and chronic stress.

Where Does Negative Self-Talk Come From?

Negative self-talk is often shaped by a combination of past experiences, early environments, cultural messaging, and learned beliefs. These internal narratives are not facts — they are interpretations, often formed when we were younger and more vulnerable.

Understanding the origin of these thoughts is often the first step toward reshaping them.

The Psychological Impact

The research is clear: habitual negative self-talk is strongly associated with:

• Increased risk of anxiety and depression

• Reduced resilience to stress

• Impaired problem-solving and decision-making

• Disconnection in relationships

• Low self-worth and confidence

Over time, the inner critic can become a barrier to reaching personal, academic, or professional goals — keeping people stuck in a loop of shame and self-doubt.

The Good News: You Can Change It

Self-Esteem

The brain is adaptable. Through evidence-based therapeutic approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA), and Mindfulness-Based interventions, clients can learn to recognise, challenge, and transform negative self-talk patterns and associated behaviors.

A few simple strategies to begin with:

1. Awareness is Key Start by noticing your internal dialogue. Journaling or keeping a “thought log” can help you identify recurring patterns.

2. Name the Inner Critic Giving your inner critic a name (like "The Perfectionist" or "The Doubter") can help create emotional distance.

3. Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts Ask yourself: Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Would I say this to a friend?

4. Practice Self-Compassion Replace criticism with kindness. You are allowed to be human. Mistakes are part of growth.

5. Seek Support A psychologist can help you understand the deeper roots of your self-talk and build healthier cognitive habits.

Why This Matters at BeHeld Psychology

At BeHeld Psychology, I believe that every person deserves to feel seen, supported, and understood — especially by themselves.

I offer individual therapy, both in-person and via secure telehealth, for clients across Australia and New Zealand. My approach is evidence-based, trauma-informed, and grounded in compassion. Working together, we can create space to understand your inner dialogue, challenge what no longer serves you, and build a more empowered narrative.

Looking for Support?

If you’re ready to explore therapy, or even just curious about how psychology can support your well-being, I invite you to book a free 15-minute consultation.

You are not alone. You are not broken.